| "retracting a past still present " a poem by me |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|01:09 am] |
someday i will dissapear in to the woods and you will find only my influence is left. good or bad. where i will be will be irrelivent to where im going and where i went will be found in others minds. if i can make one person belive in me, then i am confrimed in my own mind. playing songs with no emotion begging for a tear. if i inspire then i live. i want to be insperational, not right. its all to akward of a way to show the world that i lived and i cared, even if i didnt.
i was a part of the infinit and the imagined. now im clean and disgusted. to have been so conclusive for so long promoting happiness. the only way you could ever tell that i have scratched the surface of happiness is to look underneath my fingernails. i should be covered in it, but im slowly building this crazy rollercoaster so people can wait in line to never ride. i look into you and i see myself looking back and disputing the glance.the butterfly effect of the wise musings of an ignorant man, doubting his motivation to "be",by being. what have i finished, i will point up to the stars and recognize illigitimacy, blaming them for not seeing me as i see them. letters becoming adament in clusters, gatekeeping a formula to lable time passed.
time is ripping through the lost and found finding what will then never be found, and dancing with the lost who never stood a chance, a great lie, to what was never lost but givin to time. time was the theif that built reality. but i will always trust it has changed.
a new
corey ferreira |
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| sick |
[Sep. 23rd, 2005|02:16 pm] |
interesting
random morbid phlegm and vomiting accident this morning
cough it up and it filled up my mouth so much that it slid back down my throat and i puked everywhere.
man i love being sick
its the only time in your life when your brutally honost about how fucked up your are. always telling people your sick and describing symptoms and they always say something like "oh yeah i heard thats goin round" or "i had the phlegm but not the headach" as if whatever their expearince with the cold was is going to help me outta bit.
so next time someone trys to compare symptoms i will tell them of the puky phlegmy grossy expearince i had this sickness. and theyll be like "ew" |
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| where do we go from here |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|04:31 am] |
well ladies and gentelmen
is that not the question of the ages
where do we go from here
well
how bout straight to hell
or maybe cedar point , thats kinda cool i guess
um.. wasted at four thirty six and insomnia bites me in the ass
i love the dream reality state of insomnia,
its
somewhere between sacred silence and sleep.
...
..
.
SOOOOMMMEEE WHHEEERRE BETWEEEEEN THE SACRED SILENCE AND SLEEEP DISOORDER DISOORDER DISSOOOOOORRRREDDDDDDEREERERER!
let me concider a reality reduction, just eleminating all attachment to completely relevent
tools and people of my reality....fuuckkkkkkk
why do i always attempt to explore thoughts when im so fucked up,,its pretty fuckin pointless
im cataloging it now but im gonna think im a complete tool when i wake up and at least two other people have read it before i can delete it.
have yourself a random violent impulse and seize it
boom ba dee boom
beat boxing is so sweet when no one is around
ahh well fuckit
i tried
im fuckt
mmmmm cheeep beer
hey
jump up up and get down
corey
p.s.
jump around jump around
jump up up and get down
huh
huh... |
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| rad dude |
[Sep. 6th, 2005|02:23 am] |
i really have no idea whats compelling me to dig up the ol lj. fuck it. i havent really thought any importance of my thoughts to be realated to other people. most people tell me im crazy any fuckin way, and im starting to belive it. its called "good crazy" though. people have explained that i fit in to one of two catagorys good crazy bad crazy. i dont define a line in crazy. but thats prolly cuz im crazy right...who really cares...
hell of an open dip shit, its been a while fuck, im stuggling to figure out what you need to know.
some advice from the fool on the hill
"blow the world up"
does anybody have a lighter
why did god give fat girls vaginas, seriously, stop with all that.
i dont know
um
shit
why i like sublime by corey fuckin ferreira
i like sublime cuz they are a good band. sometimes i sit in my car and listen to sublime and watch the kids get on the buss. the kids at the bus stop dont like me too much. one day a boy at the bus stop told me that i was too old to hang out with him, so i told him that when he sleeps his daddy beats up his mommy, and that every night she prays that he wouldnt have to go to sleep so she doesnt have to get beat up by daddy, the end...or is it....duh duh duuuhhhh...
man
thats overactive a d d
a d d a d d d a d a d a da da a da da ad da da a d ad d da dad a d a ad a da d ad a d a d a d a d a d a ds d a d a d a d a d ad dddaddaddaddaddaddaddadddadaddadadadfaddadadadddaiufeijfkdasjfjhaldsjhfLASKJDHLASDJHFLKJASDHFLKJHASLJDFHLKAJSHDFLKJHFDASLKJFSDHFLADSJKHFLKJFHAFDSLJKHVAKJADSVNBLKHFLDASKJHFDASLJHFLDASJHFDALKJSDHFLKJAHSDLFJHASDLKJaddADDADD
a
d
d
have you ever thought about classifying groups of people
heres a couple
theres the "gotta love that pathetic bastard" people. the missreprestented heartach.
theres the "i wanted to stab you the second you open your mouth apon meeting you for the very first time" people.
theres the "i bet you know where to get good weed"people.im a lil partial to them they smell good and get sex from a lot of girls.
theres the "kid who got way to caught up in knowing it all"people...i know.
i get a vacation for the first time in many many years. im gonna buy a stage piano and piss everyone in the damn complex of with complex beats distracting lovers near and far. 2 am jammin the system.
alright pretend your about to hit me...
::::BAM!::::
..AH!.FUCK!...FUCK MAN WHAT THE FUCK...WHAT THE FUCK MAN WAHT THE FUCK...THAT WASNT COOL MAN WHAT THE FUCK!
wiggedy x 3 = wack
"THIS IS THE DOG POUND BABY THE DOG POUND DONT WANNA MESS AROUND WITH THE DOG POUND RUFF RUFF"
i dont know what it means but it sounds cool if i yell it in a deep thugish voice.
"breifly understanding white people by corey fuckin ferreira"
a white person
books that would be fun to write.
random love of totally stupid things fucked this world up!
i love the scraps
there the best part
i love the spam of life.
people controll your love,
maybe controlling hate
will be easier to grasp
if you controll your love.
stop loving stupid fucking things then youll stop fighting over them.
if my insanity is degenerative yall are in fer a hell of a show.
i conspire that the dairy industry is waging a full scale subliminal war on young people of this country. possible aiming there attacks right at stoners and fat kids. for example everyone knows the feeling you get when you are done eating some cheesy baked goods cheesey chips cheesy puffs cheez-its cheese pop corn..sigh...you always wind up with a semi perminent film of cheesey goodness on your finger tips. just to remind you when ever you touch your face that you could be eating some deliciouse cheesey good thing.
i dont know
getin a little drunker
okay thts prolly my que to mozy
good deal live journal
im glad we squashed the beef
it was all like "how come" n shit
but you proved
aint a damn thing changed
corey |
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| peace of mind |
[Oct. 15th, 2003|10:43 pm] |
i thank got that i found my peace of mind
one more time
since im dyin
id rather go right now
than to be waitin in line
-TWISTA
hey ya!
heyyeeeeyyeyeyeyyeyeyeyeyeyeyyeyeyeyyeyyeyeyyeyeyeyyeyeyeyeyeeyeyyeyeyeyyeyeyeyyeyeyeyyeyeyeyyeyeyeyeyeyeyyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyyeyyyyeyyyeyeyyeyyyeyyyyeyeeeyyeyeyyeyeyeyyeyeyyeyy
whats up el stupido
grancho rancho honcho sloncho
jesus christ was an only child
wen down to the river and he drank and smiled
modest mouse
i wanna go home to alabama for a weekend and no longer :):(:)(:():::::::) eee!
its not nerdy to build your own video game but it is nerdy to masturbate to anime!
when i figure out what im gonna do wiht my life im gonna have to completly change what you all think. why do you effect that. challange me. feeling friendly chillingly.
dont lose your step
get cocky or try to hate
when i step
you never hesitate to capitulate.
co exsitance we need more than tolerance
angry mobs and crying kids
were all stuck in this fucking trance
chaos thats were we live
another verse for another hearse
another purse for another burst
another church for another curse!
try to save your self
ill do the same
when its all gone to hell
youll be glad you came
cf
smoke till you choke
toke till you joke
whats to be down about when you are so very high
cf |
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| im home |
[Oct. 9th, 2003|06:27 pm] |
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whew |
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| opinion |
[Oct. 1st, 2003|01:38 am] |
Sum up your opinion or impression of me in one word, leave it as a comment in this posting, and then post this sentence in your own journal.
corey |
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| because fried eggs and speggitti dont go well together |
[Sep. 16th, 2003|11:55 am] |
one hundred percent self sufficents and reliance would be the most liberating feeling ever. even if there was a shit load of work involved. it would be...oh so sweet.
i hate learning things about myself. i do it all the time. its typical that i will learn something and then feel regret. and i know i shouldnt cause i wouldnt learn what i did if i didnt do what i was doin.....
do you people see the madness of my brain.
free spirit ha.. by free spirit do people mean "give me stuff for free." i am a free spirit. but i am bound by myself. i have to deny my free spirit on a daly basis. i want to go out there and fuck the world like i always have. but then it hits me. fuck the world is stupid. its gay. why should i have to rebel all the time. i rebel. but i do it in my own way. i rebel aginst societal standards for a non high school graduate drug user with low motivation. i rebel aginst any and everyone that apposes me. i rebel aginst rebellion casue its kinda old. i am a true rebel casue i dont even care enough to rebel. i just kind am here doin whatever whenever and any thing i do that is rebelious or not is simply a convience to me.
convience is what guides all my actions. and it is the same with everyone else. distorted views change how convience is precived. the ugly girl in the corner sees it as convienent to get all done up wear the right clothes say the right thing to try and be popular. because of the fact that she is not popular she gets made fun of and guys dont take a shining to her. so to her what is a convience is inconvient to me. this is the reason i dont belive in a right or a wrong because its all what is conviente and just because a mass of people say certin things are inconvient does not reflect my perseption of whats convient or not.
i might just be crazy
dell backwords is lled.
i wonder
:::::::::::::::::licks logo on front of computer::::::::::
i pray for a quick death.
just kiddn
corey fuckin ferreira |
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| well |
[Sep. 12th, 2003|10:55 am] |
EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!.........
JOHNNY CASH HAS DIED!
POST YOUR FAVORITE JOHNNY CASH SONG
REST IN PEACE MR.CASH YOU WERE ONE OF MY HEROS AND ALL AROUND ONE OF THE COOLEST MOTHER FUCKERS EVER.
what the fuck john ritter died too. he was cool. like....uncle cool.
corey |
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| another depressing day of rememberance |
[Sep. 11th, 2003|10:47 am] |
9/11 03
two years.
two years since all that madness.
two years since i was questioning the fate of the nation.
i dont give a fuck what anyone says (oh thats dramatic he was questioning the fate of the nation)
i didnt know what the fuck was going on. i had never been put in the situation of dealing with all the things i was seeing and hearing. it was very depressing. seeing all theh shit. and now two years later, its almost a big fuckin joke. "oh yeah 9 11 ha ha everyone freaked out so bad" i dont know i was just remembering that fucked up day when i was unsure of what was going to happen to everyone.
::::::moment of silence for all the innocent victims of the terrorist attacks accross the world a moment of silence for the victims of the american terrorist government that has been on a killing rampage in the name of peace. a moment of silence for not ever hearing silence of war in the past two years. a moment of silence for everything that is wrong with the world. a moment of silence for the shear fact that there has been none since 9/11.:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;
i dont know. i just remember being scared for everyone.
if that makes me a pussy then....rub some butter on me and make me scream.
knock knock
whos there
world trade centers
world tade centers who?
Not anymore!
ha there is the uncaring me. ah its good to be the king.
corey |
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| fuckin a |
[Sep. 10th, 2003|10:10 am] |
Jury: Mom Murdered Baby With Breast Milk
A drug-addicted mother whose 3-month-old son overdosed on methamphetamine ingested through her breast milk was convicted of murder and could get life in prison.
this is a real story out of the news! fuckin a!
this is the sort of thing that makes me go, "good im glad drugs are illegal im glad people go to jail for sellin em!"
i love to use drugs but god damned
okay people or drug people here is a nugget of joy to chew on. when people do drugs they are forced to justify themselves to everyone(because of persicution) by sayin things like they arent bad, or what i do to my body is my bussiness. they just scape goat untill they are blue in the teeth. people who i hear say these things i always think "well if they are serious, they are fuckin idiots and irresponsible drug users!" DRUGS ARE BAD! when you accept that and accept that you are doing a "bad thing" (and bad i dont mean like right or wrong) that you are taking certin risks. and if you want to take these risks good for you, no one really cares. but if you beigin to out way the risks by scapegoating or just imposing your drug usage on other people then you have no bussiness doin drugs period.
this woman, as fuckin stupid as she is, killed her child by feeding it with a body running full of lethal drugs. law makers are going to have a feild day with this. this women had no intention on killing her son but because she was an irresponcible drug user, no one will sympathise with her. if more people could stop being pussys and just be responcible with theyre drugs then there would be no need to make them illegal. but people are to fuckin stupid and are full of so much cowerdice that they dont even have the ability to say "hey i like drugs and there bad. but i dont impose myself on others".
see me for example i used to impose myself on others but i changed. its kinda like gay people. there are people who are gay. and people who are GAY. the whole image they project is GAY they always talk about being GAY and all the GAY things they do. and eventually they become just a big ball of GAY. thats all they are to people is GAY because they impose that on everyone. then they take offence when people notice or make jokes or give there oppion on the morality of it or whatever. This wouldnt happen so frequently if they didnt throw it in your face GAY. same with drug people, they talk about it and do it and act all fucked up in public and make scenes and do fuckin stupid things and people. so if you impose on someone they are free to impose on you or just more prone to. i dont know but this women is fuckin stupid and i as a person in the culture am shocked and disapointed! |
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| BLAH! |
[Aug. 30th, 2003|01:31 am] |
TYPING IN CAPITOLS IS SO EFFECTIVE!
I BET YOUR PAYING ATTENTION NOW!
UMM.....
I GOT NOTHIN!
BUT YOU KNOW THAT NOW! |
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| really un eventfull |
[Aug. 28th, 2003|08:51 pm] |
i spent the whole day driving around, thinking and, listening to eminem.
i hate the way my brain procceses every thought. i think to much about un important or deranged things and not enough about important things. thats not saying i dont think about the important things. but its the way i think about these things that bugs me.
i realized the only way to actually apaul me is be being a really good person or someone doing a selfless act. but no acts are really selfless its always for some personal gain.
with some acceptions and those acceptions apaul me. i try to do selfless things but then regret later on doing them. giving things buying things for people. i always feel good about doing it but then when they say the slightest thing that erks me i regret the nice deed.
:::::::poops in hand::::::::::types with other:::::::
so i think maybe im a bad person. people think i am a bad person and i just think theyre nosie.
::::::::::looks at poop in hand:::::::::
where was i
oh yeah bad person. i dont know. but i have a good self esteem i like me.
::::::::::::::wipes poop on face::::::::::::deep breath::::::::::smiles:::::::::::
read into this one you might find something really valid about yourself in this, you know who you all are.
dont pretend that bad things are good dont lie to yourself
just be honost and say
i do bad things
i have fun
i dont regret the bad things i do
good and bad are all in your head but we all have an image of whats healthy and unhealthy
dont lie to yourself its un healthy
i do drugs
i smoke weed
i smoke opium(rare)
i eat vicoden/valume
i eat shrooms
i like e
i dont drink (i dont like being drunk)
i dont like really hard drugs (there just not for me)
people in highschool apparently look at me as the bad kid. well i am the bad kid. i will do things that will get you people in trouble in private or public. im not respectfull to cops (they end up searching me everytime) i droped out of highschool. i live unsupervised.
yeah but umm.....fuck it! i make a good living im happy with the quality of life i have goals that im trying to achive and i have goals that i have achived. the highschool kids dont know what life is. if they did "punk" kids would realize they arent punk they are antiscocial just like the bullys that made them punk. "popular" kids would realize that popularity is a joke and that the only sort of things that people look at in life is work ethic and honosty. the nerds will all realize they arent nerds that they project themselves that way and if they dont like it they can change.
probably the biggest thing i have learnd in the past year was that;
anyone can change. you can be as successfull or unsuccessful as you want. change takes effort there is no natural evolution for bad traits to go away they just progress in to extreams. i dont know.
here one of my personal hero's just descibed it beautifuly
Sometimes you feel tired, feel weak. When you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you, find that inner strength. And just pull that shit out of you. And get that motivation not to give up and not be a quitter no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.
- Eminem
don't follow your dreams....catch up to them |
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| UMM.... |
[Aug. 28th, 2003|08:50 pm] |
DONT PUT A BABY IN THE MICROWAVE OKAY! THATS WRONG. AND MESSY.
COREY |
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| BABY IN A MICROWAVE FOR WORLD PEACE |
[Aug. 28th, 2003|08:43 pm] |
PEOPLE OF EARTH.........HEAR ME!
ARE YOU SICK OF PEOPLE HURTING AND DYING AND LIVING UNHEALTHY LIVES ALL IN VEIN
PARTICIPATE IN BABY IN A MICROWAVE FOR WORLD PEACE!
ON CHRISTMAS AND EVERY OTHER TUESDAY OF THE MONTH MICROWAVE A BABY. IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE YOUR OWN YOU CAN USE A FAMILY MEMBERS OR ONE YOU SEE ON THE STREET YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO KNOW WHO THE BABY IS. BUT PLEASE FOR PEACE PUT A BABY IN THE MICROWAVE ON EVERY OTHER TUESDAY AND ON CHRISTMAS. SET THE TIMER FOR 9:11 (MOMENT OF SILENCE)
WE HAVE REPORTS FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE PARTICIPATING
ONE MAN SAYS MICROWAVED BABYS MAKE GREAT PUPPETS!
SO
FOR PEACE AND PUPPETS
COREY |
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| right |
[Aug. 28th, 2003|08:40 pm] |
granny: ill stick the baby in the microwave
women: granny no!
Granny: ill do it
Women: GRANNY!
:::beep beep beep:::
granny : dont make me press start
women: alright what do you want
granny : world peace |
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| a thought |
[Aug. 27th, 2003|08:40 pm] |
people think way to much about there lj names
and they are always so fuckin emo
gay |
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| eww |
[Aug. 27th, 2003|07:20 pm] |
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you |
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| tablets |
[Aug. 25th, 2003|08:54 am] |
if you could take the mars votla music dry it out grind it up and put it into tablets.
i would eat em.... or smoke em yeah id smoke the mars volta tablets. so early |
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